Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Randomize
