you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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