fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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