we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
