why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
