I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
