how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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