So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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