sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
