do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
