so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
