so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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