she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
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