yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
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i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
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