Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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