Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
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