absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
