I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
