So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
