Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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