I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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