Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I stole a fireplace last night.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
