you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
The ass gains better be worth it
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