I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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