I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
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Whats the count minus fat chicks?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
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Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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