dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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