I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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