hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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