So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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