why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
