ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize