The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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