kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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