I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
