Having a random hookup so left but love u
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
