So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
