I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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