Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
