Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
