Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
