About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize