Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
