I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
