My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
