whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
