worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
