dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
