What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
