once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
