If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
