doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
