I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I have fence marks all over my body
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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