so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
