So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
