I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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