Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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