I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
