Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
