If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
