your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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