hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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