Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
