She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize