Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
