He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
