Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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