we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
