I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize