well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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