How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
