are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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